• Ringworm treatment
• Cougar crack
• How old is DJ Pauly D
• How tall is Cee Lo Green
• Amputee golfer magazine
And for the record:
A. I have ringworm. I’m not really sure how it got on the back of my calf, but it’s there. I’m not ashamed of it, Internet. Sometimes shit happens.
B. My Google search for the meaning of "cougar crack" was inconclusive (Google insists it’s older lady butt crack) because the results didn’t make sense, considering the context. I was later advised that cougar crack is chardonnay. Totally makes sense now.
C. I was thinking that he was surprisingly old during the first season of Jersey Shore so I thought FOR SURE he must be 100 by now and should be OVER his whoring ways. I don’t remember how old he was, but it wasn’t the 35 I was betting.
D. DID YOU SEE Cee Lo Green on Saturday Night Live a week or two ago?
Granted, he was standing next to Gwenyth Paltrow, but I couldn’t get over what a squat, fat little man he is. I took a picture and sent it to my friend the Honda Service Advisor because he’s a big Cee Lo fan. We agree that daaaaaaamn…they did some fancy camera work in that Fuck You video. (Maybe that's why his band is all women?!)
E. Amputee Golfer magazine really does exist. It started as a conversation about a documentary I’ve seen about people who purposefully become amputees and my date was like “OMG I KNEW A GUY WHO WROTE A BOOK ABOUT THAT” and then one thing led to another and I was googling for Amputee Golfer magazine.
It was a good date, actually.
So one of my husband's best friends is an amputee who lost part of left arm from the elbow on. And he plays golf. In fact, he's the golf coach at a high school. I keep telling my husband that they need to go on The Amazing Race because having only one arm is totally a reason to get picked. Just like I think we should apply together since we've never officially met. Another schtick.
ReplyDeleteI CAN NOT WAIT to share this news with my gentleman friend! I incorrectly assumed that amputee golfers would be missing LEGS...not ARMS!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he's a subscriber!?!?
Yep, his arm. He has a homemade contraption that he uses to help him swing his golf club. Apparently they make real contraptions for this purpose (perhaps they're an advertiser in the magazine?) but Ben doesn't like using the real one. He also doesn't like wearing his artifical limb. He functions much better with out it.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to ask him about his subscription status....