Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I had time to kill on Saturday so I took myself to the see the movie version and was totallllly disappointed. I may not have loved the book, but I thought the movie really did it a disservice. I know this is true of movies based on books in general, but it was like the Cliffs Notes version of the book except without any of the depth that made the story interesting. They changed a bunch of stuff too -- unnecessarily, if you ask me.
2. Ben and Sarah moved into their new house yesterday. I stopped by to spend 5 minutes supervising the installation of a new light fixture (a little to the left, now up, now down, now a little to the right) and to check out how AWESOME the place looks with the refinished floors and a fresh coat of paint.
3. My job is sort of in flux. Or, not really "in flux" but more like "over toward the end of next month." I'm working on my options but I couldn't help but fantasize for a second that it could magically work out that I'd have a week of downtime inbetween this gig and the next gig and that I could go on a $199 four night cruise of the Bahamas.
First Priority: Get a new job.
Second Priority: Go to the Bahamas. Not that I've ever particularly wanted to go to the Bahamas, but why not?
4. If someone were to say "Hey Elizabeth, how about we drop everything so we can go drink margaritas and eat chips and salsa?" I'd be powerless to resist.
5. I don't have anything else to say and I'm inclined to just scrap this post and try again tomorrow (like I have for the past few blog attempts) but Andrea tells me that she cries little tears when I don't post so if you got to the bottom of this post and wondered why I even bothered clicking publish, it's Andrea's fault.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Alternate Title #2: Hindsight is 20/20
A therapist friend of mine was pretty insistent that I read a book called Men Who Can't Love because she was CONVINCED that Joe was [80's pop psych warning!] a commitmentphobe. I know he has more baggage than he can carry, but I didn't think fear of commitment or love were part of his problems. She was SURE of it though so I finally broke down and read the book because I wanted to be able to tell her that NO, HE DOESN'T HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY.
So I put on elastic-waisted pants, got a cat, read the Cathy comic strip, drank some Folgers crystals and started reading this embarrassing-to-own book. I guess it was ALL THE RAGE in like 1986 or whenever it was originally published and I was READY to roll my eyes throughout the whole thing except OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, it's like the author was watching the entire Joe/Elizabeth relationship unfold and wrote it all down. But like 25 years before it actually happened.
A storybook romance that ends bizarrely?
A woman who is left going WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE?
I had to stop and go find a highlighter because sooooo much of it was DEAD ON BALLS ACCURATE of Joe. The book is all "The commitmentphobe will likely tell the woman THIS and then THAT and then THIS (CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!) and then they'll fall madly, deeply in love (CHECK!) and then he'll suddenly develop anxiety problems (CHECK!) and then he'll cruelly dump her (CHECK!) and leave her scratching her head and thinking he *must* be having some sort of a breakdown (CHECK!) and then, free from the pressure of commitment, he'll start coming back around (CHECK!), but this time the cycle will all progress much faster and the woman will be abandoned even more cruelly than before (CHECK!) and oh, PS, there will most likely be another woman involved (CHECK!) and don't be surprised if she lives out of the area (CHECK!) but the original woman shouldn't feel like she was inadequate because the more perfect and wonderful and attractive she is (CHECK, CHECK, CHECK, duh!), the more he's going to freak out and run the other way because women like her are the marrying kind and that's exactly what is freaking him out, even though he was the one who started the conversations about marriage and being together forever (CHECK!)."
And then I was like
It also calls out the "But he was married! How can he be a commitmentphobe?" question and says that some men don't start to feel trapped until after the I Do's.
I don't really understand the details behind why his marriage ended but I wouldn't be surprised if his ex would be able to see her relationship with him in the book too...particularly since I can read the part about how the men will get involved with other (geographically undesirable) women and then see how *I* was that other woman in his relationship with his wife.
Oops. Sorry about that, Former Mrs Joe!
I wasn't the reason why his marriage ended -- it was (allegedly) over before I even came back on the scene -- but the book even says that these other women will often be women from his past...which is true of me AND of the girl he's seeing now.
He did exactly what the book said he'd do and I responded exactly the way the book said I would. I'm AMAZED that we're both so cookie cutter.
It even said that the woman will swear to you that their relationship was special and unique and that she'll swear he must be going through some sort of breakdown and will stand by her man because their relationship was preordained or destiny.
I'm totally blown away at how NAIL ON HEAD that Steven Carter guy is.
Final thoughts before I put the "Bob" tag to bed, once and for all:
1. I'm embarrassed that I found the answer in a self-help book, but I'm relieved to understand how he could have been so in love with me one minute and then so horrible to me the next. I already know that there's nothing I could have done differently, but now I know that his demons are bigger than both of us and I'm the lucky one because I don't have to live in his head and spend my life cycling through feelings of loneliness, anxiety and entrapment. Rinse and repeat.
2. I must admit: If I knew then what I know now I'd probably still walk right into the fire. I recognized other men I've dated in the descriptions of the commitmentphobes but they were far less impactful to me because I wasn't in love with any of them.
You wanna be a dick? Fine. I'm out. ADIOS.
But I spent the better part of 30 years loving Joe so there was no way I was going to walk away without trying my hardest because I would not want to spend another 30 years wondering what might have been.
Which is not to say if he showed up tomorrow I'd be all "Oh, puddin', let me kiss it and make it better" because that wouldn't be the case at all. I'm just saying that if I could rewind a year, I'd probably do it all over again.
3. I will probably never forgive him for what he's done, but now that I'm back at sea level I can forget about him. I feel like I've FINALLY released the ghost and I feel pretty good about whatever comes next.
The grippy part of my lip gloss cap came off and I can't open my lip
gloss but I don't want to try twisting the white part because it's
sticky with glue. Ineffective glue.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
It a GREAT house and it's PERFECT for them but man, oh man...the previous owner was confused about home decor.
As you saw from my multiple POTD posts, there are mirrors everywhere. Every time I turned a corner I was like OMG ANOTHER ONE! POSE!
There's another big one in the hall bathroom but I didn't POTD it because I thought the rest of the bathroom would be too distracting. (Really the mirror was just unflattering.) It's like it was remodeled in the 70's, the 90's and last year...but all at the same time. The sexy modern lighting is a fun contrast to the seashell-ish sink and the brown and green pottery-ish shower tiles.
The lighting in the house is all just generally odd. There's at least one instance where it looks like they decided they wanted a fluorescent fixture but instead of removing the old chandelier, they just took the bulbs out of the chandelier and parked the fluorescent fixture alongside it.
The faux finishes are also impressive:
That's the dining room, but similar speckled walls can also be found elsewhere.
I enjoy the contrast of the speckles and the light switches:
Here's my mom, showcasing the very centered and we're-sure-useful-to-someone wall hook. She's blocking the light switch (a wooden one this time), which is a shame because it's a solid three inches to the left of the hook so I think that whoever put the hook up just didn't give a damn:
The yard is filled with fruit trees, which you'd think was exactly perfect for my vegetarian SIL who loves all things fresh and organic, except that it's almost like the old lady who lived there before went out of her way to plant the four fruits Sarah doesn't like: Figs, pomegranates, apricots and grapefruits.
All such random choices, no?
There are lemon and lime trees too and I'm excited because that means I'll never have to pay 50 cents for another lime EVER!
If anyone local wants some figs, I'm sure she'd be happy to give them to you so the dogs don't eat them:
I'm also excited about the BOUNTY of FREE pomegranates I'll be enjoying in a month or two!!
So as kooky as the previous owner's decorative choices are, it's a great house and I'm really excited for them to make it their home. My brother primered over the speckles last night and the painters are coming and the laminate floors are being ripped up and the hardwood underneath will be refinished.
But ooooh -- those laminate floors? Horrible for all the normal laminate floors reasons, but also because the old lady who lived there before? Slept on a WATER BED (my imagination runs wild with that one) under which there's a bed-sized hole where they did not bother extending the flooring, as seen in one of last night's pictures:
The next time I see it, it'll be a whole new house!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
1. Fashionist is a blog that posts a daily man-on-the-street outfit and I added it to my reader because 80% of the outfits are examples of what annoys me about San Francisco fashion and I guess I like to keep a list of DON'Ts handy. Like this, for example:
Nothing about that is flattering. Why are they celebrating it?
But the outfits that I think are the ugliest feature horrible shoes like these:
I'll admit that I think that thrifting shoes is gross anyway, but seriously Internet -- HOW ARE THESE CUTE??
2. I'm sort of sad that summer is over when it felt like it never even started. Our weather has been super funky so I know all of the Bay Area is like "Fall? What? Now?? NO!" but I think my summer was particularly crappy and I hardly had any time to feel happy and summery. So even though I want to join the rest of the Bay Area in hoping our typical Indian summer will finally kick in, I'd really rather just move forward to fall, wear a sweater and put this crappy summer behind me.
3. One day I'd like to be in the position to look at the Travelzoo Top 20 deals that come to my inbox and say "Upscale Kuala Lumpur Package for $1,299? OKAY! LET'S GO!"
4. I guess that's all I have for you right now, Internet.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Have you ever looked at Guam on a map? It is FAR. If you Google map it you have to zoom out five times before you see anything else recognizable and can get perspective on where in the world it actually is. The first time I looked it up I went HOLY CRAP IT'S NEXT TO JAPAN! Except now that I've looked again, it's actually closer to the Philippines, which by the way, is the homeland of my darling nephew's people.
So if I'm in Guam, I might as well swim a bit further and go to Australia to check a few items off the ol' life list, right?
The Australia part will be especially timely because our Australian exchange student and his hot Scottish wife are expecting their first baby this fall so if I go see them in 2011 I'll be able to get my hands on Baby Mordan.
PLUS, I just realized that my pal Dave and his wife are moving to Australia in like A WEEK so I'll have to stop by to see them too!
Basically, Guam and Australia are calling my name. And Carrie's name too because if we can both manage to stay employed for the next year or so (KNOCK ON WOOD), we're gonna be crossing the international date line together!
I bring this all up because now that she has moved to an island out in the middle of nowhere, Alyssa has finally started blogging again and the internet is a more interesting place because of it.
A. Her husband bought a machete (!) at the local Home Depot and then used it to get a coconut off the tree in their yard, which led to post about how her "yard waste is way more delicious than your yard waste, unless you have a BLT tree or something."
B. This post about the Tecate hat/bottle opener they found made me laugh...particularly the comment about having to wear it really, really tightly.
2. Remember my Stella and Dot hostess friend who told me about the confidence she has felt in relationships and how it's different each time and isn't different good or different bad...just different? And how I was worried about how I'd know if it was different forever?
Welllll, she got engaged over the weekend! Go Lesley and Dan!!
3. And speaking of that blog post...I really can't even begin to tell you how wonderful all the people I know are. The blog comments, emails and real-life comments I got to that post were heartwarming times a million.
These people I know have experienced some crushing, crushing heartache and have bounced back to find people they really, really, REALLY love. These people my people love are very, very lucky but I'll bet they already know that.
I know some really fantastic people and they're all so damn SMART and wise and kind and I'm lucky to have them.
I've said before -- well before this drama started -- that I thought I used up all my chips on having really, really wonderful friends and family and that I didn't have anything left with which to earn a romantic friend. If that does end up being the case, then I'll get to say I told you so. If I'm wrong and I do eventually find a someone, then you'll all get to say I told you so.
(My only request is that if I'm going to find a someone, please let it happen before I have to wear a pantsuit to my wedding.)
(I told my SIL about the pantsuit and she was all "There are plenty of sensible and age-appropriate choices for older brides so you probably won't have to wear a pantsuit" and then I half laughed because her social-worker-raised-on-a-farm sensibility doesn't offer much sugar coating and half cringed because LET'S HOPE I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO SHOP FOR OLDER LADY BRIDAL ENSEMBLES!!!)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
But yeah. A friend of mine was all "Hey, you'll KILL ME if I posted this but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HERE YOU GO!"
And then whoa. Suddenly, there I was, all dolled up in my Burning Man finest, singing Hey Lady with PASSION.
Hey Sara -- Recognize that hat?!?!?
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I had to abandon my plans to run at the Campbell community center this
morning because there were like 300 pee wee football players, their
parents and fans meandering along, across and around the track with
zero respect for the RUNNERS ONLY signs on the inside lanes. Normally
there are other runners so I feel justified in yelling EXCUSE ME as I
encounter standers, but today the runners were significantly
outnumbered so I bailed and came home to run around the Rosegarden
The Rosegarden is, in fact, a city block of roses and running around
it four times equals just about 2 miles. This picture doesn't feature
the actual roses, but they get plenty of play. I just liked the sky
and the trees and how comfortable it all looks.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
He thinks it's HILARIOUS to fling tupperwares full of water over his shoulder..., originally uploaded by dumpstar_drummer.
...and yet Grandma doesn't take them away. Two towels for the floor,
one towel for the baby.
I am taking what my brother calls "The Ultimate Challenge.", originally uploaded by dumpstar_drummer.
As in, the baby AND the dogs.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
It is very sad that a person I sorta knew felt hopeless enough to kill himself. The thing that makes me the saddest though is how sad our mutual friends are, which reminds me of the girl I worked with who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge a few years ago.
It's a sad and unfortunate story but whenever I think about it, the thing that sticks out to me is the moment I told one of our colleagues that Cynthia had killed herself.
I remember it coming out of my mouth as sort of somber and sort of OMG GOSSIP and feeling bad about that as soon as the words left my lips, but the part that kills me is that the moment the words registered in Mary's brain, she let out what I can only describe as a sob. It was more than a sob though, it was like an explosion of emotion that burst out of her and down the front of her shirt.
It took her a minute to compose herself but when she did, she told me that her brother had killed himself too and I felt horrible for her because she wasn't just hearing that a 24-year-old girl we worked with was dead, but a big chunk of her pain from the loss of her brother twisted itself around in her too.
So the thing that makes me saddest when I think about Adam is that it might make other people, possibly people I care about, make that sound too.
I don't actually have a reason to think it did, other than THE PAINFUL SORE THAT STILL EXISTS ON MY ASS. The scab seemed to have fallen off last week but that mofo is still a crusty lump that hurts every damn time I sit on a hard surface...like...say...THE TOILET.
Just keeping you informed.
And I was going to tell you about Joanie's wedding but decided that it would be nicer of me to give that its own post instead of including it in the bug bite on my butt post.
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