Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The whole Dancing on the Avenue thing was kind of a bust, but Lauren and I did enjoy playing a new game: How Many Non-Douchebags Can We Spot?
Rules: Men over 50 or men with obvious wives and children don't count.
Our total count ended up at ZERO.
At one point I found an iPhone on the ground and couldn't locate its owner in my immediate vicinity (the wallpaper had a gaggle of blonde chicks so I asked each blonde chick around me if one of them was her) so I put it in my pocket and figured I'd wait for someone to call.
Fast forward a couple hours and I realized the blonde chick had missed a call so I called the number back and got the blonde chick's boyfriend who passed the phone to her and OMG I SAVED HER LIFE.
They came to find me and I was thrilled that she was so thrilled, we hugged and I wished for good karma (though I think wishing for good karma might kill the good karma, but so be it).
And then there was something involving tequila and a bar that used to be a pizza parlor that we were butthurt to have been invited to by one of Lauren's flames, only to be ditched 30 minutes later.
1. I went to the Junior League open house last night and ended up joining. I was pretty sure I was going to but I wanted to show up and get a feel for it before giving them my money.
They had an ice breaker that required everyone to share her name and what TV show she'd like to be on and why (lame?). I went first and I said that my name was Elizabeth and I'd like to be on The Amazing Race because I want to see stuff that I can't see on old lady tours.
I was surprised that in a room of 50 people, I was the ONLY one who wanted to be on TAR. The BIG BIG BIG winner of the evening??
The Real Housewives of NY or NJ!
Really, you guys?
I mean, I LOVE THOSE SHOWS but would I want to actually get caught up in that bullshit???
And yet, I joined the JL anyway.
2. I went to my very first Bikram yoga class this morning and BOY HOWDY, did it take it out of me! I was doing just fine until the dizziness and nausea they warned me about kicked in and then WOW...I had to FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on not tossing my cookies.
I was kind of in a daze on my drive home but all of a sudden I was OVERCOME with the desire for McDonald's breakfast and NOTHING WAS GOING TO STOP ME. That sausage egg mcmuffin, hash browns and GIANT diet coke were TASTY.
3. I had time for a quick shower and then a phone interview and then I had to RUSH RUSH RUSH over to my sweet nephew's SWIMMING LESSON! It's only 30 minutes of Baby and Laverne swimming around in the pool with other moms and babies but...if you haven't already noticed...I kinda love that baby and I think everything he does is amazing. BESIDES, as I told my brother, I want to support his Olympic aspirations.
4. And oh, btw, the other thing I have to report is that I found a new job! And I start on Tuesday! And I'm really excited about it!
The turnaround was freakishly quick because I called one of the contacts I made during my last period of unemployment and BADA BING, she happened to have a perfect opportunity for me just sitting right there on her desk and they wanted to move fast so two phone interviews later, my ass is employed again!
It's with the same company but since there are like 60,000 employees it's not like I'll have to even SEE the people involved in last week's fiasco.
But sure, Company, I'd love to make more money to work in what sounds like might be a great organization!
A. Sign the contract for the new job.
B. Yoga again
C. Some sort of free wine/music event at one of the local wineries
GO TO BED EARLY.
It's only 6PM otherwise I'd go to bed now. That yoga kicked my butt.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I was sitting in my car, outside the post office.
Two Mormon missionaries in all their 19-year-old-in-bike-helmets-and-short-sleeved-shirts adorableness ride up and lock their bikes on the rack.
I remain in my car, talking on the phone.
They linger outside the door to the post office until...
A biker rides up on his Harley and dismounts and the two missionaries smile and walk over to him.
The three men shake hands and have a friendly conversation and had all clearly arrived at the post office to meet up with each other.
A couple minutes later, I get out of my car and head into the post office.
I emerge approximately five minutes later and the three men and the three bikes (two of the bicycle variety and one of the hog variety) are all gone.
Internet, I ask you: What in the heck were they all doing there?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I’ve only set out personalized towels for Margaret and Patrick, but I see three people arriving on horseback…if they’re bringing a friend I wish they had told me ahead of time. The embroider is fast but not that fast.
I lost my job on Thursday.
It was kind of a big, shocking, dramatic event because of the way it was handled but as I told my boss (who found out my contract had been ended via cc while he was on PTO), I'm actually kind of relieved to have been dumped on my ass with such vigor because then it's easier to feel okay about it.
Kind of like my recent break up, I said.
He is leaving the group in a few weeks anyway so we laughed and agreed that yes, we're both the lucky ones.
Apply for unemployment!
Friday, June 25, 2010
I just finished pre-cleaning my apartment and now I'm waiting for my
new tenant to come get the keys. The professional cleaners come on
Monday, the shades are fixed and the carpets are clean so I popped
open the bottle of champagne the last tenant left in the fridge.
Drinking straight from the bottle because I'm classy. Plus, if you're
unemployed and standing in your beautiful but too expensive to
actually live in apartment, your standards are kinda low.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I'm very proud of myself for figuring out how to pair the Uma flower with the silver La Coco necklace (minus the brooch)!
Watch me talk some smack about a Stella & Dot product:
As much as I love that silk flower and even though it's supposed to be frayed around the edges, I'm kinda OVER it leaving little silk threads on my shirt. BE FINISHED FRAYING, ALREADY!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My last tenant told me her movers were coming on the 14th and that she was going back to Michigan on the 15th. Great, I said. I'll be there on the 18th to do the walk through, please send me your forwarding address and leave the keys on the counter.
Then the 18th arrived and I showed up to find a dirty apartment with a random assortment of abandoned stuff but no keys.
I was disappointed in her, but it was what it was.
I called the locksmith and had the locks re-keyed while I was there, I gathered up her stuff and tossed it, and I made appointments to have the apartment cleaned, to have the carpets steamed and to have the shades re-corded (one of them was jacked up).
All of the cleaning will happen on Friday.
Then today I got a call from my tenant saying she's there with the carpet cleaners but she can't get in.
Me: Dude, you were supposed to leave the keys, you didn't, so I had it re-keyed.
Her: But I have the apartment through the 27th.
Me: Right, but you haven't responded to me in two weeks. You said you were leaving on the 15th. I assumed you were back in Michigan.
Her: But I have the apartment through the 27th.
Me: But you said you were leaving on the 15th, you didn't leave the keys, you didn't call or email me to tell me anything different. When you said you were leaving on the 15th, I figured that meant you were leaving on the 15th.
There was some back and forth about what I should have inferred from "I'm moving back to Michigan on the 15th" and we ended up agreeing that she'd send her carpet cleaners away, I'd take the cost of my carpet cleaners and the shade repair out of her deposit and I'd eat the cost of the cleaning (which truthfully, isn't a big deal since I have a Groupon for kitchen and bathroom cleaning anyway).
The only real downside to this compromise is that the Groupon cleaners weren't available until Monday morning so I was hoping to find full price cleaners who could come while I'll be there on Friday (which I was having trouble finding anyway).
It's added stress I'd rather not have right now but it will all be okay, the old tenant is getting out of having to clean the apartment and the new tenant (who I loved even before she told me she owned her own steam cleaning machine, which means she's one of my people) will get an extra sparkly clean apartment. I might even have to pop open the bottle of champagne the old tenant left while I wait out the time between the shade guy (10AM) and the carpet guy (230PM), which will make it extra okay.
(Note to self: Add orange juice to shopping list!)
In other news, I had a dream that I met Lady Gaga.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
The jeans, the shoes and the sweater are likely to end up in the Goodwill pile.
The ring and the necklace do not await the same fate:
In other news:
1. I had a great trunk show at Leslie's house last night, followed by a post-happy-hour happy hour in a private room at Maggiano's that we happened to get invited to while we were in Cabo. I was in that room, surrounded by adult people, and I realized that OH MAH GAH I think I'm the oldest one here.
Save for the bartender, anyway.
So I was "OH MAH GAH"'ing about it and someone was like "No way! [What's His Name] is older than you! He's 33!" So I asked What's His Name, he said his birthday was in November, which means:
A. I'm older than the crowd's go-to "old guy."
B. What's His Name was butthurt that he was the crowd's go-to "old guy."
In my head I'm 27.
My crow's feet would tell you otherwise.
2. I'm thinking about joining the Junior League.
Have you recovered from the shock?
We'll see though...I'm going to an open house in a couple of weeks. I'm nervous about how much being-a-nice-person I'll have to do.
3. Tonight's Exciting Agenda:
* Drive up to SF and do a walkthrough of my old apartment.
* Meet the locksmith so he can re-key the joint.
* Meet my new tenant so she can measure for furniture.
* Possibly do the hut-to-hut run along Crissy Field, which will hopefully make me feel better about how non-attractive I'm feeling today. Of course, my dining-out breakfast and lunch didn't help either.
4. Tomorrow's Exciting Agenda:
* Possibly go to Happy Hollow with Joanie and Grady and MAYBE even my wonderful nephew, if I can steal him away from his other grandparents for a few hours.
* eBay some never-before-worn clothing.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I am too lazy to get up and get a full pack of either..., originally uploaded by dumpstar_drummer.
...so I'm mixing myself up a scandalous drug cocktail. AT WORK!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Now that I look at this picture in full size I think I look kinda googly-eyed, but so be it:
That's the Jenna necklace, btw.
And OOH OOH OOH! I forgot to tell you that my SIL was wearing two Stella & Dot necklaces to the birthday party on Sunday:
And OOH OOH OOH! I forgot to tell you that I had my FIRST solo trunk show on Saturday:
Thanks to Bree and her posse for making that happen!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Here we are two days ago:
I was in charge of balloons:
He LOVED them:
Video for my mom:
I loved watching Baby with the balloons but I also loved his mom's side of the family because they're Filipino which means there's lumpia at every family event:
My nephew is adorable:
There were cupcakes as far as the eye could see:
Everyone loves cupcakes:
Obligatory 1st birthday cake face:
Every day adorable face:
He is all kinds of wonderful. We're lucky to have him.
I was resort ready:
Here I am self-portraiting in the shuttle while I waited for the other shuttle-ees:
Note the Jasmine earrings.
Also note: If you ever go to Cabo, listen to your friends' advice and BEELINE outside the airport because the guys INSIDE the airport want to sell you a timeshare and they'll spend 85 years telling you how beautiful you are and acting amazed that you're not married because you're so beautiful. The shuttle guy you're looking for is all the way outside the airport...not in the lobby.
The view from our room:
Hello, Pacific Ocean!
The waves were big and they looked like FUN but I guess the depth drops off pretty quickly and the current is strong and people DIE and stuff out there so we weren't allowed to go IN the water. But boy was it pretty!
After a quick look around I put my 40-pounds-ago bathing suit and Old Navy cover-up on (turns out...if you lose weight you should get a new bathing suit) and hightailed it to the pool for cocktails and ceviche:
And then it was ladies' night!
You can't see my efforts here, but I did accessorize Leslie with the Stella & Dot collection!
Sweet Hayden, ladies' man that he is, did not join us for ladies' night. He didn't meet the dress code:
We spent some quality time taking advantage of the free drinks for ladies and watching a lady who, we swear to you, was out on the town in a figure skating outfit, black fishnets and Easy Spirit *pumps* and then we somehow ended up eating all-you-can-eat sushi at the sort of attached sushi counter next to the bar.
Easily the best sushi I've ever eaten!
My SIL-Who-Does-Not-Wear-John-Deere-Pajamas asked me if it was better than that time I went to Tojo's for world class sushi and I'd say it was on par with Tojo's, but since it was $50 a head versus $200 a head, Cabo sushi was better.
The next morning Leslie and I ate off our hangovers with a lukewarm buffet breakfast (with a spectacular view) and then we all spent the day lounging, eating fish tacos and drinking blended beverages by the pool.
After our busy day we got dolled up and headed down for dinner at one of the restaurants:
We did not dine here, but I'm still DYING to know what Asian/Mediterranean/Mexican food is:
Instead we had a extremely disappointing dinner that would have been completely worthless and blah had it not been for the dessert.
The restuarant we chose turned out to be their 24 hour family dining coffee shop disguised as a white tablecloth place. The menu was eclectic -- reubens, seafood enchilladas, lasagna, pad thai, burgers, etc. And calamari! And since I will ALWAYS order the calamari if it's offered, we got ourselves all tasted up for it and when the waiter came toward us with a big, giant bowl I was salivating and silently thanking Mexico for being such a seafood value.
Except then he sat the bowl down in front of us.
And Leslie and I peered in.
And then looked at each other.
It was a very "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" situation.
Imagine if you took a big, giant pasta serving bowl and added a MOUNTAIN of those white, fried, space-filler Asian noodles. Then imagine you took ten typical calamari rings and busted out your mandolin to slice each ring into five or six paper thin slices before frying them up, letting them sit there for a while and then serving them to your diners.
Cold fried calamari aside, the whole thing was damn near the most ridiculous plate of anything I've ever seen.
But we ate it anyway.
The next day I got up BRIGHT AND EARLY because we had 10AM spa appointments and I wanted to be sure to enjoy the spa's assortment of hydro therapy options before my treatments.
On my way to breakfast (another disappointment):
Taking an illicit spa locker room photo because it was so early that I was the only one there:
I've been to a handful of spas in my day but this was the first time I'd seen a cold plunge. You couldn't just bite the bullet and jump in -- you had to walk down the ice bath stairs, willing your body to continue. I was the only person I saw go in neck-deep -- most people wouldn't go past their toes (SUCK IT UP, PEOPLE!), but I have to give credit to Leslie for going in about chest-deep. The little yelp she made when her torso hit the cold, cold water was worth the price of admission.
After my two treatments -- a facial and some sort of Indian massage that involved long, light strokes from my neck, down my butt and to my ankles -- I went and lounged poolside while I waited for the other ladies to finish their spa appointments.
Shrimp cocktail, poolside:
My efforts to shoo this little bird away from my chips:
Were in vain because he was a bird with cajones:
And he caused me to knock over the Tabasco:
It was a windy, gray day so we eventually headed back inside:
And were greeted by towel swans!
(Which totally made the towel folding class listed on the activity board make much more sense.)
I decided that since this was my last full day, I wanted to brave the cold weather and get as much sun on my white legs as possible so I walked up to the infinity pool:
And oh hey, it was happy hour! In Mexico this seems to mean that they bring you two of whatever you ordered...in this case, it was two chi chis (appropriate, no?):
And then I walked back down the mountain:
And got ready for dinner:
BUT FIRST! It was happy hour again:
And then there was some picture taking:
(And again I Stella & Dotted Leslie up!)
And then there was an argument with the cab driver.
And then we went back to that AWESOME sushi place and did (my first) saki bombs:
Which were followed by happy hour (AGAIN) two-for-one margaritas:
Sushi and margaritas!
My kind were not welcome here:
The next morning was sunny and beautiful so we got a couple more hours of pool time in before we had to go home:
I'm torn between showing you a close up of THE necklace (the one that started it all) and allowing you to think I have a mustache (as indicated in the photo)...but I'm going for it:
And JUST SO YOU KNOW, I do NOT have a mustache because I pay a lady very good money to keep it that way!
And then, after a seemingly endless wait in an un-air-conditioned airport terminal, I was home:
If you're my Facebook friend you know there was a celebrity-I-am-not-cool-enough-to-identify on my flight. That's him in the blue:
I probably need to read People magazine more often.
1. The resort was gorgeous.
2. With the exception of the poolside menu (and the sushi we left the resort for TWICE), the food sucked.
3. The toilets would clog if you flushed more than 3/4 of a sheet of toilet paper so needless to say, they couldn't handle my action. On the upside, our toilet got plunged within five minutes each time we called (which was multiple times).
4. The ashtrays were reguarly smoothed out and stamped with the resort logo:
I LOVE THIS and one day when I'm rich, I'm going to have ashtrays all over my compound...not for people to actually use, but for someone to moisten, smooth out and re-stamp. (But I'd prefer for this to just magically happen because Leslie and I did happen to see the lady doing it one time and it was like I'd seen Santa Claus.)
5. It was a very, very welcome trip and I had a lovely, lovely time. I don't see myself becoming one of those Cabo-Twice-a-Year people (or even twice a decade) because there are so many other places I'd like to go, but it was 10000% money well spent!
Ten million thank yous to Leslie and posse for allowing me to crash their vacation!
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- It's been a busy 24 hours!
- Cutest Baby EVER!
- Playing the "How Do Those People Know Each Other" ...
- Catalog Living
- BPOTD: On Hold Until Further Notice!
- Free Champagne
- I adore this kid.
- I do not recommend landlording.
- Limeaid for Breakfast!
- Macy's is a MESS!
- I hope both these things are true.
- Someone else's mess
- I am too lazy to get up and get a full pack of eit...
- See? Googly eyes!
- Happy Birthday Baby!
- A utilitarian Cabo wrap up!
- It's been a whole year!
- These cookies taste too much like gum...
- Adios, Cabo!
- Lauren made me climb a mountain this morning.
- I just found unclaimed riches in my beach bag!!
- 100 Pounds of BULLSHIT
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