Things

1. Here's what I know about dating: It's the most confusing, stressful, drink-inducing thing ever.

Except for maybe buying a house.

Except buying a house, in my own experience anyway, turned out better.

And I say that even though I pay through the nose for a house that someone else lives in while I sleep in my parents' guest bedroom.

1a. I think my next tattoo will be "He's just not that into you."

Right across the back of my hand, so I can always see it.

1b. Recent discussion with a lovely lady friend: How dating brings out every insecurity you've ever had, regardless of how wonderful and beautiful and smart and charming you might be and how seeing others cycle through the crap makes you feel better about cycling through it yourself and A) we're so lucky to have girlfriends and B) dating sucks.

2. I think it's pretty universally accepted that using a speaker phone in an open area is a dick move, right?

SO THEN WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE DO IT!?!?!?!

3. I was singing the praises of this fast drying top coat the other day and I thought I'd take a moment to tell the internet:

Poshe' is fantastic and really does dry with LIGHTENING SPEED.

4. I didn't really get around to wrapping up 2010 and laying out my plans for 2011 but here's the jist:

A. 2010 was a rocky road, but I learned a lot of things about being a human.

B. 2011 is going to be MY year.

C. I will continue my (undocumented) 2010 resolution to not eat at Weinerschnitzel anymore. I totally rocked that one and didn't touch it AT ALL, despite The Schnitz being one of my favorites. As it turns out, I really CAN live a life without pastrami pretzel dogs!

For 2011 I will add "I will not eat at Burger King anymore." Another favorite.

D. I failed at my resolution to achieve my drivers license weight in 2010. BUT, considering the way 2010 unfolded, I'm pretty stoked that I have maintained my weight. So for 2011, I'm targeting that drivers license weight again.

E. I failed at my resolution to read a measley 12 books in 2010. I got to like 10 1/2 but I really need to buckle down on that because if I'd spent less time laying in bed playing Bejeweled Blitz or Bookworm, I'd have read those 12 books AND THEN SOME. So 2011...a book a month. For reals this time.

F. I didn't pay off that one credit card either. But I did reduce it by half.

So that's it. No Weinerschnitzel, no Burger King, lose 40 pounds, read more books.

5. I have to attend a team FENCING activity tonight. And it was my idea, so when I end up strapped into a too-small straightjacket'y looking thing with a strap up the crotch, I won't have anyone to blame but myself.

PLEASE GOD, DON'T LET THE FENCING OUTFITS BE MARKED S, M, L, XL, XXL!!!!!!!!!

2009 in Review

There are 75 things I want to blog about but first I'd like to do the 2009 wrap-up and officially declare my 2010 resolutions. ARE YOU READY?

2009

This year wasn't as bad for me as it seems to have been for a lot of people. Of course, spending the bulk of 2008 unemployed and sucking my savings account DRY meant that pretty much anything could happen in 2009 and it would still top 2008. So the bar was set pretty low and I spent a lot of time appreciating my paycheck more than my job, but all in all, the following exciting things happened:

1. I achieved 75% of my 2009 resolutions:

a. I lost 30 pounds.

This is really just a drop in the bucket but these 30 pounds are huge for me because I haven't been this "skinny" in YEARS, I went from morbid obesity to just regular obesity (YAY, OBESITY!), I magically look good in most pictures, and the best part -- all of a sudden the formerly unattainable weight loss goals are now attainable.

Driver's license weight?

ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHIN RANGE!

Buying non-plus size clothes?

ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHIN RANGE!

I ordered the largest size pants that Banana Republic offers JUST TO SEE and HOLY HELL I COULD BUTTON THEM. They didn't look good so I sent them back, but JIMMINY-WHAT?

b. I moved back to the 408.

I do miss my perfect-for-me little apartment and I do miss the beauty of San Francisco, but I do not miss the commute and I do not miss being AT LEAST an hour away from my family. Moving back was the right choice and while this transitional period isn't THE MOST AWESOME EVER (like, I can't wait to have my own dishwasher again so I can stop being involved in conversations about what does and does not go into it), it's also really not bad at all and I am very, very, very thankful that I'm as lucky as I am.

I do not expect to ever move back to San Francisco but I am so glad I had that experience. I would LOVE for my current renter to stay put for a couple of years and then I'd like to sell the apartment and buy a tiny little house somewhere in the greater San Jose area. This is tacky to tell you, but I WILL NOT MISS my $591.00 monthly HOA fees.

c. I made an effort to look friendlier.

My just-sitting-there face isn't attractive and my mouth is naturally down turned and I figured out that if I keep a foolish-feeling little smile on my face all the time, it really just looks like a neutral expression.

d. I did NOT read 15 books.

I read nine though!

2. I became an aunt!

Seriously you guys, I ADORE that baby. He is so wonderful and perfect and kissable and it melts my cold, cold heart when he tries to eat my face or falls asleep on me, all spread out like one of those sticky monkeys that you get out of 25-cent vending machines. He's pretty fantastic.

Bonus points for seeing my brothers interact with him. Triple bonus points for when Ben does his Grandma-from-Sixteen-Candles impression and tells him that "Frrred, he's gotten his boobies!"

3. I went to Barack Obama's Inauguration.

I had a greatgreatgreatgreatgreat time with friends AND got to see the first black man become President of the USA? It was cold and crowded and miserable, but also completely awesome.

4. I started working on completing the list of 100 Things to Try in San Francisco Before You Die.

This one is worthy of being included in this list?

YES.

That list has taken me to a number of places in San Francisco I never would have known about otherwise. It's more than the places themselves though, it's also about more fully experiencing San Francisco, which is the true value.

42 down, 58 to go!

5. I started running.

I achieved my goal of being able to run a mile back in 2008, but it was in 2009 that I really stepped it up and figured out that I could run longer distances. I'm never gonna be a marathon runner, but I am SO PROUD of myself that I'm able to run across the Golden Gate Bridge and back, for a total of 3.4 miles.

I also ran two 5k races and my goal over the next couple of years is to get to where I can run the Mercury News 10k, which always seemed COMPLETELY unattainable.

6. I went to my 15 year high school reunion.

AND had a way better time than I thought I ever ever ever would.

7. I fell in love.

What?

I did. I hate to drop this nugget and run and it's not a secret in my real life and I'd REALLY REALLY like to tell you all about it, but I'm going to keep my cards close to my chest for a while longer. I couldn't NOT include this in the list of awesome things about 2009 though.

2010

My 2010 resolutions:

1. Pay off that credit card.
2. Achieve my driver's license weight.
3. Read 12 books.

I am feeling the most confident about numbers 2 & 3, but I'd be THRILLED to achieve #1.

2010, my fingers are crossed for you!

Checking my progress...

I went to look up my 2009 resolutions so I could see exactly how far behind I was in my book reading goal and IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I realized that I'm actually within reach of achieving all of these!

1. Read 15 books
2. Make an effort to look friendlier
3. Move back to the 408
4. Lose 30 pounds

#2 is because my just-sitting-there face isn't pretty AT ALL and I know that I look cranky even when I'm not at all and I realized that when I smile at someone from the just-sitting-there state what is a decent smile in MY mind, really only counteracts the downturn of my mouth and the smile ends up making me look neutral.

SO, I decided that I should try to walk around with that smile on my face so that I'd look neutral and then if I ever wanted to actually smile at anyone, I should cheese it up and then that would just look like a regular smile.

I *have* been doing this so CHECK!

3. CHECK! I was even telling my mom that I don't think I'll ever move back into that apartment and that I should sell it and buy something in the 408 instead. We'll see how all that works out, but I'm not selling it for at least a couple of years. It does bum me out that someone else gets to live in my beautiful little apartment, but I really like her so I hope she feels at home there.

4. I'm at like 24 pounds lost so now I'm extra motivated to get rid of those last six in the next seven or so weeks. Totally possible, even with the holidays and my lazy one-pound-a-week Weight Watcher style.

1. This is the one I have to work the hardest at. I've only read eight books so far this year:

Confessions of a Tax Collector (Interesting! And also puts the fear of an audit in me!)

Life With My Sister Madonna (WAH WAH WAH!)

Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination (L-A-M-E)

Sum (Weird and not really great or anything, but it frequently sparks conversation between me and my brother, who also read it and had a similar opinion -- that the author really must be insane.)

It Sucked and Then I Cried (Good, but blog is better.)

Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady (I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME!)

Pretty in Plaid (Jen Lancaster gets more and more full of herself with each book she writes.)

Motion of the Ocean (I don't really have anything to say about this one, but I don't want it to feel left out of the commentary in parentheses.)

Currently Reading: Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death

In Summary:

9 books (including the one I'm currently reading)

2 fiction (except I think that Sum book is actually in the spirituality category or something)

6 memoirs (always my favorite)

1 self help (I think this is the only self help book I've ever read!)

So now I have seven weeks to hit 15. I don't think it's possible, but you never know.