I do not recommend landlording.

Seriously you guys, I do not recommend landlording.

My last tenant told me her movers were coming on the 14th and that she was going back to Michigan on the 15th. Great, I said. I'll be there on the 18th to do the walk through, please send me your forwarding address and leave the keys on the counter.

No response.

Then the 18th arrived and I showed up to find a dirty apartment with a random assortment of abandoned stuff but no keys.

I was disappointed in her, but it was what it was.

I called the locksmith and had the locks re-keyed while I was there, I gathered up her stuff and tossed it, and I made appointments to have the apartment cleaned, to have the carpets steamed and to have the shades re-corded (one of them was jacked up).

All of the cleaning will happen on Friday.

Then today I got a call from my tenant saying she's there with the carpet cleaners but she can't get in.

Me: Dude, you were supposed to leave the keys, you didn't, so I had it re-keyed.

Her: But I have the apartment through the 27th.

Me: Right, but you haven't responded to me in two weeks. You said you were leaving on the 15th. I assumed you were back in Michigan.

Her: But I have the apartment through the 27th.

Me: But you said you were leaving on the 15th, you didn't leave the keys, you didn't call or email me to tell me anything different. When you said you were leaving on the 15th, I figured that meant you were leaving on the 15th.

There was some back and forth about what I should have inferred from "I'm moving back to Michigan on the 15th" and we ended up agreeing that she'd send her carpet cleaners away, I'd take the cost of my carpet cleaners and the shade repair out of her deposit and I'd eat the cost of the cleaning (which truthfully, isn't a big deal since I have a Groupon for kitchen and bathroom cleaning anyway).

The only real downside to this compromise is that the Groupon cleaners weren't available until Monday morning so I was hoping to find full price cleaners who could come while I'll be there on Friday (which I was having trouble finding anyway).

It's added stress I'd rather not have right now but it will all be okay, the old tenant is getting out of having to clean the apartment and the new tenant (who I loved even before she told me she owned her own steam cleaning machine, which means she's one of my people) will get an extra sparkly clean apartment. I might even have to pop open the bottle of champagne the old tenant left while I wait out the time between the shade guy (10AM) and the carpet guy (230PM), which will make it extra okay.

(Note to self: Add orange juice to shopping list!)

In other news, I had a dream that I met Lady Gaga.

Wacky.