This angle makes my legs look like tree trunks.

This angle makes my legs look like tree trunks., originally uploaded by dumpstar_drummer.

Big, white tree trunks.

But anyway, I have a bruise and a big ol' LUMP. It was a getting-into-
the-shower injury, which is extra lame because I've only successfully
entered that same shower like 1,000 times.

I gasped in pain when it first happened but now it's just unsightly.