WWW in the Wilderness DOT COM!

First and foremost, if this is not a picture of bathroom sign people taking the subway to the Taj Mahal, what IS it?



That was hanging on the living room wall of the cabin I stayed in a last month. My co-cabineers Cousin Regina, Cousin Roya and my SIL Who Does Not Wear John Deere Pajamas, and I can’t figure out what else it might possibly be.

But what the heck was I doing in a cabin?

Wellllllllllllll, a few weekends ago my SIL Who Does Not Wear John Deere Pajamas (Sarah, for short) and my sweet baby niece packed up and went to Leonard Lake (the reserve, not the serial killer) with 25 or so female members of my extended family. A bit of background though (and please forgive any headcount inaccuracies, family members):

My dad’s mother’s sister had ten or eleven kids. The oldest one died a couple of years ago and the youngest one is somewhere in her forties. One of those ten kids had ten kids of her own and another one had eight and all the others had multiple and then the next thing you know, family reunions are A MADHOUSE…especially for my little offshoot family. I was an adult before I even knew how we were connected.

The truth accepted by people in this family is that you probably won’t know everyone. I surely don’t know everyone. Or very many of them at all, actually. There are hundreds of them by now.

My dad is tight with many of the original ten or eleven. He grew up with them and he’d spend summers with them – his mother’s attempt to shake some of the spoil off him, I imagine.

My dad has historically attended the family picnics in the summer and the Christmas party in the winter and some combination of me and my brothers might attend, but hardly ever my mother. (Note: Not for any particular reason…she’s just more comfortable with people she knows better…and now that I think about WHY my mom tends to sit these things out, I realize just how much like my mom I am. Nobody ever believes me, but I *am* partial to my bubble. I go out and do things because going out and doing things and getting out of my comfort zone is something I starting making a point of doing right around the same age my mom was getting married and having children.) My brothers’ and my attendance has waned over the years and I can’t speak for them, but I know that for myself, it’s largely because I feel uncomfortable having the same brief surface conversation over and over and over again. The person I actually am doesn’t have the chance to come through, so why bother?

When I’ve had the opportunity to spend one on one time with any of these family members over the years I always leave thinking “I reallllllllllly need to know these people better. They’re MY people and they’re amazing!”

And then I go back to my core circle of friends and I mind my business.

There are so many of them. They are all so much more related to each other than I am. They all know each other so much better than I do. I show up at events and am surprised to learn that OH HEY! Someone got married, adopted a baby, adopted three babies, got divorced, did this, did that, did whatever and I feel like the asshole for being all “So, who is this person?”

And I know that’s 100% because of the distance I create. Or at least 75% because of the distance I create and 25% because there are just too many people to keep tabs on everyone.

So when I got an email from Cousin Molly, inviting me and the other lady Holts to a weekend at the lake with all the other lady cousins I thought about it for a second and decided that YES! I would like to go and create the opportunity to know these women better!

Laverne was not able to attend but Sarah, who really didn’t need another reason for my dad to think she’s FANTASTIC, was totally game, even though she only knew two people other than me.

I wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out and we nearly froze the baby (surprise snow + no heat = last minute room changes so my six week old niece wouldn’t turn into a popsicle) and there were still some people I wasn’t able to connect with, but all in all I’d call it a success!

Assorted Points!

• This lake is out in the middle of NOWHERE. Technically only nine miles off the main highway, it was an entire world away. Those nine miles were 15-miles-per-hour miles and they required a focus that Sarah and I didn’t quite have the first time around. We ended up on an unintentional tour of the wilderness, but after re-tracing our steps a couple of times, we eventually got there. I successfully did not lose my brother’s wife and child in the wilderness.

•We knew there would be a stream crossing and were joking about having to “ford the river” and whether or not we should hire an Indian guide, Oregon Trail style. And then we came up to the “stream” and HOLY CRAP IT REALLY *IS* A RIVER!! It was at least 20 feet across and we were wary of how this was going to work out but comforted ourselves with the knowledge that Cousin Katy was driving a Prius and if she could ford the river in her Prius, we could SURELY do it in my CRV.

Sarah and the RIVER:



•I bunked with Cousin Roya, who I *do* actually know but with whom I haven’t had an adult conversation…probably ever...or at least not since we were college-aged, which doesn’t really count. I was glad for the opportunity to lay in bed and talk with her about her kids, her husband, the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, etc.

•Despite the snow the day before, Saturday turned out to be gorgeous. The more adventurous members of our party went on a hike around the lake while the rest of us layed (lay?) on the dock and enjoyed the sunshine. Baby AJ got her sunbathing groove on too:



•Remember my kayaking fiasco, Internet? Well when Sarah saw that this place would have kayaks she sassily asked me if I’d be getting back on that horse. I might have liked to, but I didn’t trust myself to not fall in so instead she went a’kayaking while I supervised Baby AJ on the dock.

Here's Sarah showing me how it's done:





•Cousin Alice and her daughter Cousin Alivia were also very show-offy with their badass kayaking skills (though watching the production of them getting into the kayak was one of my top moments of the weekend):



•Baby AJ was a HIT. She was one of only three children in attendance -- only babies who couldn’t live without their mamas were invited. Everyone wanted to hold her and comment on how TEENY TINY and DELICATE she is. Grandma will be butthurt to hear it, but Baby even smiled at Cousin Marcia!

•There’s a particularly juicy, particularly epic family story that I won’t share here, but that is creepy and sorta scary and that continues to unfold some thirty years after it began. Sitting around the fire, wine in hand, listening to Cousin Molly recap it for the young ones and update it for the older ones was perhaps even a highlight for me, even if the subject matter is dark and tragic. (And involves math, believe it or not.)

Until that night I’d only ever heard the story from my dad’s perspective. Hearing Molly’s INCREDIBLE version of it was something I’m very glad to have had the opportunity to hear. And as a bonus, this fascinating (and horrible) oral history of our family really seemed to bring the teenagers together, as they’d previously been sorta standoff-ish and teenagey with each other.

Assorted Photos!

Jazz hands will keep you from drowning:



Sarah and I were half of Team Breakfast on Saturday so we made a little bagel bar:



I'm still working my way through the leftover cream cheese.

Snow!



I wish I had a picture of the snow outside the kitchen door -- an industrious family member put beer in the ice. Very handy.

Team Holt, REPRESENT!



There was a BIG BIG BIG house and then a handful of smaller cabins and cottages. Our cold little cottage is in the background:



Look at how breathtaking it all was, Internet:





I didn’t have grand communication breakthroughs with everyone, but as kumbaya as it sounds, I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to strengthen the bonds with the women in my family. I’m thrilled that I got to introduce Sarah and Baby AJ to our people and I’m hopeful that I can continue knowing them all.

Go Team WWW!