The universe is messing with me.

Almost at the exact same time that I reconnected with Joe, I met and started dating a dude named David. In the very beginning I was very tortured over the whole thing because David was very sweet and liked me a lot and was local and relatively baggage-free and Joe was not so local, not so divorced, not so baggage-free, etc. I tried very hard to give David a fair chance because, on paper, he was a much better match and I didn't want to get swayed by the excitement of a life-long love suddenly popping up again when a much healthier option had suddenly presented himself to me.

As we learned, I ended up making a SUPER AWESOME decision by picking Joe, which meant I had to sever ties with David. At the time, while I was honestly surprised by David's "OMG NO!" reaction, I wished for it to be quick and easy and clean. Blah blah blah, breakups suck for a reason, I know, but I'd never been on this side of the fence before. When I play those conversations back in my mind I realize that because I didn't tell him that there was someone else, poor David was left to believe it was something about HIM. While I didn't believe we were a long term match, it really wasn't David's fault and there wasn't anything he could have done to change my mind.

We agreed to remain friends and we sort of did for a month or so, but then he put two and two together and stopped talking to me. I've since texted him every six months or so but he doesn't respond. It's never anything burning that really requires a response, but the chill I feel from the obvious IGNORE is icy.

And that's totallllly fair. I don't blame him at all.

So now fast forward to yesterday. I have just moved into a new place that is SMACK DAB by the San Jose State University library. If my calculations are correct, David is probably still a student at SJSU and if his study habits have stayed the same, he likes to work at the library. I was driving home last night and the thought suddenly popped into my mind:

"I wonder if I'll ever see David now that I'm driving past the library all the time?"

And then the light changed and I crossed over San Fernando Street and I looked up and saw that OH MY GOD DAVID WAS STANDING ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE LIBRARY, COINCIDENTALLY LEANING UP AGAINST MY BUILDING.

The universe has seriously been messing with me this week so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but holy crap, I was caught off guard.

I drove around the block to A) double check that it was him and B) try to catch his eye and wave. My heart was beating OUT OF MY CHEST during that lap and when I came back around I confirmed that YEP, it was him. He was on the phone and didn't look up (or saw and ignored me, but if that was the case, he has a masterful ability to not look surprised) so as soon as I got into my parking spot I texted him that OMG he was leaning up against my building at this very minute.

The thing that really threw me for a loop was how shakey my hands were when I was typing the text and how quickly my heart was beating. And then I had to walk to the ATM that was 15 feet from where I'd seen him standing (for reals...it's my go-to ATM and I was rushing out to go meet my peeps and I needed cash money) and throughout the 60 second walk I was engaged in a debate with myself: Was I hoping he was there? Or was I hoping he was not there?

He wasn't there and he never responded to my text. Again, I totally do not blame him and I know that it's better for everyone if I do not get involved with David again but now I'm stuck, suddenly missing him.