Two Horrifying Admissions:

1. I am still wearing the same bra that has been on my body since yesterday afternoon. This means that I A) slept in it and B) haven't showered yet today. This ALSO means that since my sweet, wonderful nephew threw up down the inside my of shirt in the wee hours of the morning, said bra has the patina of someone-else's-regurgitated-breast-milk.

AND YET, I'm still wearing it. In fact, I've put an outside-the-house shirt on over it so that I can go get some sushi take out, which will be awesome considering the water retention I'm currently working on will only be made even MORE retaining'er by the soy sauce.

Hot, right?

My brother got married last night and we took the baby home with us so his parents could enjoy a baby-free wedding night (GROSS) and that's all fine and good except that he doesn't STAY asleep unless he's ON you. If you had a spycam on my bedroom you would have found me propped up and half dozing with a sweaty and possibly-getting-sick baby sprawled out on my chest all night long. Sounds sweet, right? Yes, it was, except that it was a long night of twilight'y sleep where I was hoping he didn't roll off of me or wake up and when I was finally relieved of baby duty all I could think was that OH MY GOD HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS???

So there was that, plus my brother's wedding, which was on the heels of my friend Aly's NYE wedding the night before. I had the good fortune of staying at the Sacramento Sheraton where, SURPRISE, they were having one of those multi-room, multi-DJ, multi-trainwreck NYE parties, which meant that the central valley's classiest party-goers were having fights and various relationship dramas in the hallway until like 4AM.

So anyway, I'm crazy exhausted, which is why the crusty bra is still on my body.

2. I am VERY EXCITED to go back to work on Monday. I only do well on vacations if I have structure and things to keep me busy and this holiday shutdown has been a glutton bowl and I housesat for my other brother for four nights which didn't help with the structure thing and I'm left feeling sluggish and fat and greasy and disappointed in myself. I CAN NOT WAIT to get back to 6AM wake ups and Lean Cuisine lunches.

This second one is horrifying because A) I'm excited to get back to work? WHAT? and B) I had been looking forward to spending the time doing good things for myself and now all of a sudden my 10 days of vacation are over and I didn't do a damn thing I wanted to do. As penance, I'll be signing up for a one week boot camp session even though, right this very minute, that sounds wildly undesirable.

The good news is that I am reasonable enough to know that I have not had a decent night's sleep since before Christmas so all my crazy out-of-control emotions (and associated sushi and peanut butter M&M eating) can be attributed to that.