Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Duan

My friend Joe is new-ish in town and likes to save his pennies so instead of living in a regular apartment in a regular neighborhood with regular neighboors, he lives in a HIGHLY questionable "hotel" in the higgidy hood with druggies and crazy people. I've heard all kinds of stories about the goings on in his building and they're all pretty alarming and/or make me sad and wish Joe would move somewhere else, IMMEDIATELY.

This particular neighbor took a shine to Joe because Joe gave him toilet paper and tuna fish. Or did he try to SELL Joe toilet paper and tuna fish? I don't remember...both are possible. So this neighbor was involved in an altercation a while back and as it turns out, is currently resting his head at San Quentin Prison.

How do we know this?

Because Joe got the following letter in the mail:



Hello Joe,

Say brother, how are you doing, fine I hope and pray. As you are awere, I am in prison :( for having that fucking knif. I will be getting out of here in April of 2010. Anyway I got a lot of love for you and I need some help feel me. Please write me back soon, Joe if you are able please send me some stationary some books of stamps, and a clear writting pens and could you, please send your boy something so I can buy some cosmatics.

Write me back soon!

Love,

Duan


I half love Duan and his effort and I want to send him lots of stationary and stamps and pens, but then I remember that nice, sweet, down-on-their-luck gentlemen DON'T end up at SAN QUENTIN! As far as I know, that's a place for murderers and rapists!

Other Observations:

1. Joe's last name is not Nurse, but that is his profession. I'm not sure what the "L" is for though, especially since Duan *does* seem to know that Joe's name is Joe and not Joel.

2. I want to pinch Duan and his sweet penmanship.

3. I was super confused about the cosmetics thing -- do they REALLY sell make up in the MEN'S PRISON? We've since confirmed that "cosmetics" is prison talk for "toiletries."

4. It bothers me that Duan wrote on the back side of the paper. This makes me wonder if perhaps he is left handed.

5. Whether or not Joe sends him some loot, JOE NEEDS TO MOVE HIS ASS BEFORE APRIL, 2010!

In other news, I'm currently watching The Wire. If Duan is the real life version of, say, Bubbles, then I defintely want to send him stuff. If, however, Duan is the real life version of the guys who killed Omar's boyfriend, then nevermind.

3 comments:

  1. 4. Maybe Duan drew a pretty picture on the front.

    This is the best post ever. I think you should send Duan some Hello Kitty stationary and glitter pens.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Duan seems to imply Joe(l) might already be aware of some kind of knife, as evidenced by "that fucking knife."
    Also, I didn't know cosmetics means toiletries. Fascinating!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dang I wish cosmetics actually meant cosmetics...I was picturing Duan with fake eyelashes on

    ReplyDelete

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