Oktoberfest #1

I want to tell you about my Oktoberfest #2/Camping/Wigwam weekend with David but I'd be doing Oktoberfest #1 with Lauren a disservice if I didn't tell you about that first. Soooo, that post will have to wait a day or so, but here's what I have to say about Oktoberfest #1:

It was an accident. We had plans for happy hour a couple of Fridays ago and figured we'd go to Teske's because it's October and they have a beer garden and shoot, why not have a couple of beers in the warm fall air?

We looked at their website, read the Yelp reviews, etc. WE DID OUR RESEARCH. Nowhere does it say that "Oh, PS, this is the biggest, loudest, most sought-after traditional Oktoberfest celebration in the area, possibly even all of northern California and you have to get reservations six months in advance."

We got there JUST as Teske's was opening and didn't want to be the first ones there so we went to the bar next door (where the bartender looks like a rockabilly version of my friend Joel [I'm talking about YOU, Mr. Finale!]) for our first drink.

We hung out, drank our beers, did our serious catching up and after an hour or so, decided to go next door and stake out a spot on the patio.

EXCEPT, our naive "Hi, two for the patio please?" was met with a pissy "YOU DON'T HAVE A RESERVATION?!?!?" from the head chef / host. We were half inclined to just bail because DUDE WAS A DICK but shoot -- we weren't gonna let him get us down! He said he MIGHT be able to fit us in if we gave him 20 minutes. Uh...the patio looked only about half full but okay...Lauren and I have both spent quality time working in the restaurant business and understand the delicate balance of not slamming a server's station. We can be patient.

So we head to the bar to wait it out, but we hadn't been there for three minutes before the dude was back, swatting my arm to get my attention and yelling "GIRLS! GIRLS! COME ON! LET'S GO!"

Seriously, dude was a D-I-C-K.

But we followed him anyway and HOOOO BOY, I'm glad we did.

He sat us down at a long table filled with people, including an old German lady named Jutta (another fellow non-reservation-holder) and we started to realize that OHHHHHH...this wasn't going to be happy hour. This was going to be a full German dinner, complete with beer and a band and an accordion and lederhosen and busty women.

A minute or two later he moved us to the table right in front of the band and Jutta said she was going to the bathroom and never came back and then it was me and Lauren and the motliest (is that a word?) crew (crue!) of people I've ever had the pleasure of dining with:

1. A retired Army guy and his wheelchair-bound wife who was dressed in a hot German boob-a-licious outfit. They were LOVELY and FUN and they really made our accidental Oktoberfest a great time, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THEY PAID OUR TAB AT THE END OF THE NIGHT!

2. An old German guy and his mentally challenged son who was SO EXCITED about the AWESOME German band that he assured us would be playing shortly. He didn't waste any time before asking us if we were single and guessing our ages (25, MY ASS, but thanks!) and telling us that he was 40 and that he LOVES to dance, especially with pretty frauleins like us (though it's important to note that Lauren was his favorite fraulein).

3. A married couple (who later told me that they "swing" and oh, by the way, was I single?) and the wife's parents and grandparents.

4. And then there was Jutta, who lasted all of 5 minutes before bailing.

So there we were, sitting there with dumbfounded looks on our faces and shooting each other "OMG SHOULD WE JUMP SHIP OR WHAT?" looks but then before we knew it there were beers in front of us and everyone was so excited that we were there and the band started and there was a giant pretzel (the way to Lauren's heart) and we decided that we'd just have a giant liter of beer and go with the flow.

So when we started getting the band's overflow shots that they couldn't drink?

We went with it.

And when I came back from the bathroom to find our 40-year-old German band enthusiast tablemate who likes dancing with pretty frauleins dancing all alone, I danced with him and let him twirl me all around. He was SO TICKLED with himself that he bought Lauren and I each a CD from the band.

And the beers kept appearing and the plates of sausages and fried veal were put in front of us and the TIKKA TIKKA HEY or whatever the heck toasts were being made, we played right along and we had the BEST DAMN TIME.

In Summary:

* What was intended to be a low-key drink or two with Lauren turned into an accidentally awesome extravaganza.

* It was so much damn fun that we're going to make actual reservations and bring the whole posse back next year.

Photo Evidence:

Fun Fact:

The ladies' room at Teske's is a single seater and therefore:

1. You can watch the lady in question as she unzips her pants:

And then, when she's finished, you can watch her zip them back up again:



This half wall stall really allows the ladies to bond while they're in line. There's nothing like a little stall commentary to lighten the mood.

"She's putting down the seat cover. She's unbuttoning her pants. She's sitting down. She's standing up. She's flushing."