1. We got pulled over on the way there. I was SO CONFUSED when I saw the CHP alongside me drop behind and turn his lights on. I had just taken a sip of my iced tea and my brain cells were not connecting correctly because I wasn't speeding and I thought FOR SURE it was suddenly illegal to drink iced tea while driving or something.
So we pulled over, I rolled down my passenger side window and got out my license and tried to be as prepared as possible because I know they like that.
My registration was expired, it seems.
Oh.
Wait.
What?
Did I pay it?
Did my mom pay it?
Was it stolen?
How is this possible?
These were all questions I asked out loud. Lauren was like "Dude, you're asking ME?"
Except I guess if I think about it, I remember remembering that it would be due soon but that was in THE FALL. I do not remember ever getting a bill (which isn't surprising because the car is registered to my mom and she's very likely to just pay it and move on) or a sticker.
The CHP guy was kinda weird and nervous about the whole transaction and had to have me tell him my address 75 times before misspelling it anyway.
So he walked away and I called my mom and was like "OMG! Car registration! From like FIVE MONTHS AGO! Does that sound familiar at all?" She wasn't sure, but seriously you guys, it expired in NOVEMBER.
He came back and was all smiles -- it's paid! No ticket for me! He thought maybe my mom just lost the sticker or forgot to give it to me. (This annoyed me by the way -- "people" lose things like that but not MY mom! We are responsible people, man!)
But anyway -- WHEW! No ticket! No getting the car impounded somewhere outside of Chualar!
2. We went to a honkey tonk and drank 25 cent beers and people watched. We discussed how nobody talked to us AT ALL and Carrie shared that when she goes to her local Walmart the person before her gets greeted and the person behind her gets greeted...never her.
Haters.
3. We moved on to a much more entertaining bar a couple storefronts away. This time people did talk to us, including:
* A lady who thought I was SO FANCY that she insisted on talking to me with an English accent.
* A 25-year-old who was AMAZED that Carrie was SO OLD but looked SO GOOD.
* A cowboy who let us touch his cheek beard (I don't know what that look is called -- but it's like an overgrown mustache or something that looks like beardy puffs of hair on the cheeks).
* A bartender with an LED ticker sign belt buckle. The bar was called the Elkhorn so his belt buckle scrolled with "Are you Elkhorny?" which we thought was super classy, but my favorite was when he showed us the other options and one was misspelled: "Sponcered by Trojan."
* A cholo who wanted to pose with me and the plastic gun from the video game:
4. Highlights from the next day's wine tasting adventure:
* One winery offered an assortment of reading glasses in case you needed to read the fine print or something:
This same winery had a handsome gentleman working there and there may have been flirting until we found out he was the wine maker's son-in-law and his mother-in-law was right there in the room with us, at which point, we decided "flirting" was really just "being friendly." I'd also like to say though, for the record, telling someone that his shirt matches his eyes is not flirting. It's just being observant.
* Carrie was uncharacteristically affectionate:
We met up with Katie, one of the wine room ladies who is also like Miss Rodeo Arizona 2007 or something and for reals, is one of the most adorable people I've ever met.
Katie had a SADDLE in her back seat:
and she enthusiastically offered to take us horseback riding RIGHT THEN AND THERE and I'm disappointed in us for getting distracted because I could have checked something off my life list, but Lauren did get to try on Katie's hat:
* We got excited about Easter:
* We went to a saloon:
* A gentleman named Slim bought Carrie a red rose and twirled her around the dance floor all night long:
* A gentleman named Jimmy bought Katie a white rose and twirled HER around the dance floor all night long but I don't have any flattering pictures of that.
5. Other exciting notes:
* We ate chocolate with pop rocks in it.
* Lauren spilled pita chips ALL OVER the back of the wine wagon.
* Tomato basil hummus has like half the calories of regular hummus.
* Tracey: Lauren and I shared the same room you and Gabe had when you visited The Ranch. We woke up to the melodious song of that same "chicken" that I hear you guys enjoyed.
* I've since heard that BOTH the dancing and rose buying gentlemen have taken their rose recipients out on hot dates. This is unprecedented.
* Lauren and I managed to make it home on Sunday without getting pulled over!
* $18 of my mother's money later, I have a current registration sticker on my car.
The End.
did you hear about the crime that occurred right before we arrived? i can't remember what it was. i can assure you though, i slept with one eye open.
ReplyDeleteokay, i didn't really sleep with one eye open. and it wasn't really a crime. it was more like a prank.
there was an easel when we drove it asking for witnesses if memory serves. (something like someone took someone's christmas lights? or dog? i can't recall. and it was on a street that was called something like sleepy doe lane?)
i'd forgotten about the "chicken" until just now.