Things

I have a long list of things that I've been meaning to share with you, Internet. It's disjointed, but such is life:

1. I was just having a conversation with a colleague (who I recently realized is a fellow blogger!) about how we don't like sleeves on our coffee because they seem wasteful and REALLY, is the cup SO HOT that your little princess hands can't handle it???

I told her about how I used to date a dude who would ask for his coffee in a double cup, which annoyed me because WHY SO WASTEFUL?? He told me that it was because his hands were too big for a sleeve and he needed a double cup to enjoy his coffee without burning his giant (princess) hands.

Psssh.

But then that led to a story about how I met him at Weight Watchers and when we'd go to the sushi boat I started noticing that he'd put every other plate or so on MY stack of plates (For my mom and other non sushi-boaters: You take plates off the boat as they pass by and stack them up and then they charge you for the number of plates in your stack). It wasn't a big whoop because I ALWAYS ENDED UP PAYING ANYWAY, but I felt like it was a very passive-aggressive Weight Watchery move and I'd end up feeling very self conscious about this huge stack of plates in front of me that made me look like I'd eaten my weight in sushi.

1a. When I finally finish my book, THAT dude will be the star of the "Reasons Why You Shouldn't Date Men Who Read More Self-Help Books Than Regular Books, No Matter How Cute They Are" chapter.

1b. Speaking of the book writing, I read a blurb yesterday that I printed out with the intention of tattooing it on the backs of my hands (or something):

"E.L. Doctorow once said that 'writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your desination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing or life I have ever heard."

One of many reasons I admire Maggie Mason.

2. We've discussed that my brother's genes are so strong that even though his wife is a dark skinned and dark haired Filipina, their son, my darling nephew, looks VERY MUCH like a Holt, right? I'd actually say that he looks very much like ME as a baby, but with dark hair and eyes. The bonus to this is that for whatever magical DNA reason, my brother's red hair shows up in his son -- particularly in the sun, when his little head has a definite mahogany glow.

So the other day I standing in the sun, holding my darling nephew and I noticed that he had two hairs that were either GRAY or BLONDE.

Either of these scenarios are mind boggling.

3. My friends Becky and Henry recently bought a fancy new condo. I went over for dinner last weekend and when I got there Becky met me in the garage and we took the elevator up. The doors opened and we entered what I thought was the building's lobby or something but HEY! THERE'S HENRY IN THE KITCHEN! WHAT?

I've seen these elevators-that-enter-directly-into-the-home situations in movies, but never in real life and I'm telling you, Internet -- it took me a whole glass of wine to get my jaw up off the floor.

3a. I don't recall how we got on the subject of The Time When My Tonsils Attacked Me, but I was telling them about how my ankles blew up like balloons and suddenly all my shoes started rubbing holes in me (I'm an awesome dinner guest, OBVIOUSLY) and I told Becky that I'd post photographic proof on my blog FOR ALL TO SEE. Lucky you, Internet.





As someone who has always taken pride in her ankles as being the ONE part of her that is slim and lovely, THIS WAS VERY DISTRESSING.

But blah blah blah, that was several years ago and my ankles are fine now and I haven't had strep throat again since.

(For reals, yo. The ankles were related to strep throat. HOW EXCITING, RIGHT??)

4. And finally, I'd like to report that my darling niece is recovering from the pacemaker fiasco LIKE A CHAMP! The main "problem" is that since we can't hold her up under her arms for another six weeks (Did you know that they break sternums in order to install pacemakers in babies?? OUCH!), she can't do any of the learning-to-put-weight-on-her-legs stuff that she'd be inclined to do at this age.

But BIG WHOOP. She is alive and happy and adorable and that's all that matters.

4a. I intended to quote my friend Dionne in the original post I wrote about the baby pacemaker fiasco but it slipped my mind. She sent me a few very kind thinking-about-you-guys emails while we were in the midst of it all and I think she hit the nail on the head:

Baby ICUs are such complex places and nothing makes you as sad and grateful all at the same time.

Dionne's own daughter was in the ICU for a while so she knows what she's talking about.

xoxo.

5. And since I don't want to end on what could be interpreted as a downer, I'll end by reporting that my other brother got me watching The Voice. I didn't catch it while it was actually still on TV, but that's okay because watching it on Hulu meant I was better able to capture one of Christina Aguilera's shining moments: