Things

1. It's been MULTIPLE WEEKS since I last posted. What the heck, Internet?

2. My mom asked me about my last post and what about my location was so scandalous. Well, Internet...there's no tasteful way to explain it, but I SWEAR TO YOU...ON MY LIFE that it started out as an accident (because I'm naive) and somehow I ended up on a tour of a porn mecca...and not just regular porn, but BDSM porn (Mom, don't Google that).

The tour itself wasn't a big deal...we saw some curious contraptions and heard stories about how the "models" (because they're actually into the stuff they do and per the tour guide...they're not "acting") overcame personal fears and KUMBAYA became happier people or some shit. My date for this excursion did some pre-research and was like "Dude. The porn site these people film for? Totally fucked up." But I was like "Dude. Quit being a prude. Different strokes for different folks."

And even after the tour I didn't think it was a HUGE big deal...twisted and not at all sexy...but DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS.

And then I went to the site and HOLY CRAP! PEOPLE ARE FUCKED UP! If I die tomorrow and you guys see my browsing history, I swear, I only went to kink.com because of the tour we ACCIDENTALLY ended up taking.

I'm going to make a broad judgement here: The people who are into that type of porn (women screaming in pain and the like) are NOT HEALTHY PEOPLE.

So after that tour we went straight to a BBQ at my friend Christa's house where we were able to cleanse our palates with wholesome, suburban good times.

3. In other palate-cleansing news, I went to Tahoe last weekend and it was awesome and I did not get a sun burn AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...I even kayaked again AND DID NOT FALL IN THIS TIME!!!!!

4. In OTHER other palate-cleansing news, SO MARK MY WORDS, the next man I date will NOT be a shipping and receiving clerk. I don't know what it is about me that makes me such a magnet for the under achievers.

5. Weekend Agenda:

A) Go visit my mom in the hospital as she continues to recover from her second knee replacement and where her physical therapist is an adorable young man who is physically incapable of saying the word "bra." He prefers "top underwear."

B) Enjoy a delicious sushi lunch with Walkera.

C) Crash my friend Kelly's neighbor's BBQ...which seems potentially awkward, but I trust Kelly to not drag me along to a BBQ where strange non-neighbors will feel unwelcome.

D) Take Allison to a Dailey Method class with me.

E) Pick up my CSA box. This CSA box thing has been a commitment...I love the potpourri of the weekly CSA box, but I feel pressured to eat it all up each week, which means my meals for the week have been revolving around what's in my CSA box instead of what I feel like eating.

F) Pre-celebrate my birthday with my family.

6. I'm going to do another juice fast starting Aug 24th...SO MARK MY WORDS. I may not last the whole 10 days because starting on the 24th means it'll run into Labor Day weekend, but even a 7 day fast would be awesome. And also quite sucky.

6a. Also: HOW IS IT ALREADY ALMOST LABOR DAY???????????

6b. Also: I'm looking forward to fall. I love all the seasons though, so I'm always looking forward to whatever's next.